The butterfly release was beautiful and wonderful friends were here to share it with us....wonderful friends who humor your silly mother for continuing to have birthday parties for you every year....and as you know when the day was done I wept hysterically for hours. I don't understand why but the pain this year was worse than it has been for your past couple of birthdays...I just had this terrible lump in my throat and it felt like those butterflies jumped in my mouth and flew to my stomach...I didn't think I would ever stop crying...but then you find a way to send something to me that puts a smile back on my face. I can't wait to be with you again my angel. Please give extra hugs to your sisters. Brooke shut herself in her room all day and you know she NEVER does that.....I know she is missing you so much more than she will even say. And Kaitlyn I know how proud you are of her but she is struggling with you being gone also. But today was her first day of high school....and voila! We were at the bus stop and suddenly that flock of Gold Finches that have been hanging around the past couple days followed us to the bus stop and sat on the telephone wires above our heads and of course we were positive that you had something to do with that! I hope you liked your butterflies baby. You would have been 21 today and "free" as you used to put it.....just like the butterflies:P But alas you are free now more free than we imagined you would be at 21 and although I should be rejoicing that you are surrounded by the Glory of God and the Heavens...I am selfishly sorrowful that you are not here where I can hug you and kiss you and hear your beautiful voice. I am trying hard to be patient and to hang on and wait until it is my time to be with you again...but every day is a struggle. I love you more than ever and I am so proud of you and all you achieved in your short time on this earth. You will always be my baby XOXOXO Mom
I miss you / Kaitlyn Barnes (Sister) Hey Big brother Feeling kind of blue today I really miss you and your birthday is coming up soon. Please visit us in our dreams I wrote a poem a few min. ago. I love you Jon!
Ever since you passed away All the colors faded to gray All i feel is how i wish you were here And every time my life looks gray I remember that first most tragic day And It hits me like a ton of bricks In every possible way
So not only on my grayest day When nothing seems to go my way Will i be sad and down But also heartbroken to find that your not around
Even though i know your near At heart and a beautiful place that is unclear On my most grayest day I don't want to hear "you will be okay" Because on my grayest day for me to be okay I would want things my way and if i had things my way you would still be here with me Today. -Kaitlyn Barnes
Jon and Bronco Reunited in Eternity 4/20/09 / MOM
Jon and Bronco...Reunited in Eternity 4/20/09
We miss you, sweet angels! XOXOXO
Happy Easter 2009, Jon!! / Mom
Happy Easter 2009, Sweet Jonathan! My precious boy, we miss you so very much. This morning, Brooke's friend called her to tell her how her big brother came in early and jumped on her bed to wake her up...and I could see and hear the sadness in her voice as she told me...I know she remembers that you used to do the same to your sisters, I know she misses that very much. She picked out one of her Easter eggs from the egg hunt to give you, and Kaitlyn included you in the Easter meal blessing, as always. We like to think that you are here with us always, even if we can't see you! We try to see you in everything that happens, every occasion, every event...you are loved and included, and always will be. Happy Easter in Heaven baby! Love, your Mama:)
If i had it my way. / Kaitlyn Barnes (Sister) If it had it my way, You would be here everyday You could watch me grow older, and look over my sholder I could see you smile, From a mile away And i could hear all of the beautiful words you would say I could have your hugs Every day With you around everything was okay You had this beautiful glow around you And no one was just like you You had the best attatude about Everything and i could come to you for anything We had a bond like no other You were the most amazing brother. Now i see how its going to be You i can no longer see But i still have you in my dreams and as bad as it seem's i still feel you around me i still see your smile and hear your voice I wish this was not how it has to be But forever you will remain in my heart Me and you will never be apart I love and miss you My brother -From one sibling to another.
My poem / Kaitlyn Barnes (sister)
i wrote this a little while after jon passed away. i love you big brother. HAPPY 20th BIRTHDAY!
Im sitting. Its Silent. No movement. I feel a cool breaze. I hear a soft wisper. Clueless to what its saying, i follow it. The Breeze feels stronger, the wisper, more like a worl of wind. I keep following it. I find myself by worling trees and blazing sun. shinning through scatered clouds creating beautiful rays of colorfull ligth. I feel the wind picking up. Blowing through my hair. I wonder what happened, the dark cloudy day became beautifuly colorfull & wonderfull. But why all the sodden change. Who did this? I look up in the sky and all around my earth. Its my guarden angel. He's telling me somthing. He's telling me there are more than Dark & sad days. There are more things to be doing then hidding in a shell of a fack skin. You just have to be yourself, belive in your self, and keep your mind wide open to all the wonderfull nature God has created, i sudently realize that. I shout it out. The wind slowly slows down but the beauty is still there. i molt out of my shell and see the wonderfull world. Im free now, and forever, Thank you my Guarden angle!
-Kaitlyn Marie Barnes :D
JON!/ Kaitlyn Barnes (SISTER)
hey big bro. i realy miss you! please keep mommy and sister strong. please watch over and bless our family even though it would be way better with you here in it. i miss you. people are starting to say i look sound and act like you..and i thank that is alsome cause you were an amazing wounderfull cheeseball and not to menchion the best brother in the ENTIRE WORLD! and i miss you! ...i LOVE YOU BIG BROTHER!!
xoxo,
KAITLYN (The Day)
Fourth of July 2008 / Mom Hey Baby, I remember how you usedto love the fourth of July, and I used to love to see the excitement in your eyes as you watched the fireworks display. Now, I hate this holiday, anything with "fire" makes me weep, and all weekend, I have had to endure the sound of fireworks all around, and as you probably know, I have been a total mess. :( I just wish we could go back in time and change everything, and we would not have this fear and sadness, and most of all, we would have YOU, right here, enjoying every Holiday with us...the good ole days. I love you , my angel, and you are forever on my mind and in my heart....XOXO Mom
Can't wait / Arlene Shanaberger (Friend of Mom's ) Just finished looking at your photo album again. What a wonderful life Jon had - though it was short. God says this life is but a vapor - it's here and gone very quickly. Eternity in Heaven will be glorious - especially since we will be with our loved ones again and NEVER have to say GOOD BYE. We'll never have to worry about our children and never have to suffer heartbreak again. Praise the Lord that He will wipe every tear from our eyes. I look forward to that day !! Hallelujah and God bless your family.
Jonathan../ Kaitlyn Barnes (sister) Good Morning Big Brother..how is it up there? we all miss you...i just know that you have made over 100 cloud ramps to skate! and i bet you have landed them all...you are the best brother any sister could ever have..and im happy that you were mine and still are...i know your still around..opening and closing doors...shuting off our lights..making things fall off sheles..messing with radios and cars!..you were always joking about things like that and i can see you still do!...i just wanted to tell you how much i love & miss you..and that ill never forget you..mabie one day when im in heaven you can finaly teach me how to skate board! please help everyone to keep strong..i love you big brother<3
A beautiful angel! / Ginger Scott's Mom (Mom of another angel )
Loved looking at your life on earth. Betcha' you are dazzling your angel friends, too. Keep watching over your Mom. She misses you. Ginger-Scott's Mom
sorry for your loss / Shirley Baer (none) I am so sorry for the loss of your handsome son...I feel your pain and your grief..you are in my thoughts and prayers always.
Merry Christmas, 2007 You would be 19 now, but I know you would still be here getting your little sisters all wound-up for Christmas morning! I remember how you could never get to sleep on Christmas Eve, and it would frustrate you! LOL It just is not the same without you here, it is such a quiet and calm Christmas Eve, it seems that extra spark you would bring to every occasion is just not there anymore..... Oh, baby....we miss you so much, but I know you must be in the mostglorious surroundings, celebrating Jesus' Birthday....I hope you can send some angel hugs and kisses to us when you get the chance. You will be with us tomorrow, we will always remember your presence here. Merry Christmas, sweet angel.....
hey big bro / Kaitlyn Barnes (sister) Hey jon today is thanksgiving and i realy wish you were here! your were and still are the best big brother i have ever and no one no matter what can replace you!! thanksgiving & Christmas this year is going to be the hardest fo all of us..but its just starting to hit brooke that your gone..please help keep her strong and we will always keep you in our hearts and thoughts! i realy wish you were here to see me in 7th gread and in highschool..i know that if you were here when i grad. you would have frunt row! and now i can know that when i grad you will be walking right beside me when i go get that deploma.! i love you and thankyou soo much for the stinkbug!! i love you forever and ever and ever and ever and have a happy happy thanksgiving
To Jon, / Anon Poeople say it gets easier...and I guess in a way it has...yet in a way it feels worse. I feel like I understand less now what happened than I did before. I think I have been kidding myself into thinking I just havent seen you around not that your gone. I still remember the last time I saw you. Im so glad I didnt listen to them...they said come on lets go but I ran up and hugged you and told you how much I missed you. Everything seems to be getting blurrier and I dont like it. I remember every time together I just cant remember all the details like I used to. I cant help but stress my mind about what it would be like now... would we have grown apart? Gotten closer? Just stayed as close as we were? I cant even go on about the questions that go through my mind... One day I was thinking about you and I was like "I wonder if I think of him (them) everyday?" But...you cant really figure that out...cuzzz if at the end of the night your like ohhh I didnt think bout Jon...there ya go. You did think bout him! haha. I think thats funny. So now Ill be thinking of you and be like ok I thought of him today... I cant really explain it but its funny in my mind...and it made me stop bawling. You were such an amazing person (like everyone I can not stand saying were and here I am bawling again...) God I hate these moments when it really hits me. Well I just needed to talk and try and calm down. Although its not working. I can wait until the day I see you again...haha I can imagine it...I will just cry and smile at you... and at that point I will push everything aside and hold onto you and ask you why? And ask you all about what you think would have happened... oh well Im not getting into this... I love and miss you...
I luv you my angel.... / Mom Thank u my angel for watching over us the way u do.If it weren't 4 u and God, we wouldn't be so blessed. I luv u 4 ever...
My heart feels empty without you. / Granma Steiner (grandmother)
Jon, The days, weeks, months and years go by and nothing gets easier. If only we could go back. Life will never be the same again until we are together. We are just trying to hold the pieces together until then. We all lost a part of our heart when you were taken from us. I was such a fortunate grandmother to have a grandson like you and nothing will ever fill that void in my heart. I love you so and know we will see each other again. Until then, please keep watching over your family and friends. Love, Granma
Happy Birthday baby ! / Michelle Krantz (Family Friend ) A big ol' smile is what we are all used to seeing from you. It will be etched in our minds forever.......... You are sooooo missed, I can't even say how much. Your family needs you now. I know your probably tired of people asking you to take care of others, but, we know you can do it. Being so loving and caring and all. 19 on the 19th............ Too sad that your not here. You are still missed more than ever after 1 and a half years., Keep showing up at weird times and be in your Mom's and sisters hearts. minds, souls forever.... As you will be in theirs. Love ya Barnes. Krantz
Tributes and Condolences
Happy Easter 2009, Sweet Jonathan! My precious boy, we miss you so very much. This morning, Brooke's friend called her to tell her how her big brother came in early and jumped on her bed to wake her up...and I could see and hear the sadness in her voice as she told me...I know she remembers that you used to do the same to your sisters, I know she misses that very much. She picked out one of her Easter eggs from the egg hunt to give you, and Kaitlyn included you in the Easter meal blessing, as always. We like to think that you are here with us always, even if we can't see you! We try to see you in everything that happens, every occasion, every event...you are loved and included, and always will be. Happy Easter in Heaven baby! Love, your Mama:)
A big ol' smile is what we are all used to seeing from you. It will be etched in our minds forever.......... You are sooooo missed, I can't even say how much. Your family needs you now. I know your probably tired of people asking you to take care of others, but, we know you can do it. Being so loving and caring and all. 
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